seventy: merrr.

oh, people are back on blogger.
now, i leave.

sixty-nine: fuck this.

i'm sick of my parents being divorced.
it's never really got to me before.
and now it has.
fbdnkaml~lxsaxlpws.

i'm sick of being so lonely.
everyone is in a couple now,
always being the 3rd/5th/7th wheel is getting tiring.

this is shit.
just you talking to her makes me want to cry.
facebook wall posts, and now i know you're texting her.
i'm invisible.
i honestly think i'm invisible.

no one invites me anywhere.
ever.
i haven't been out anywhere without family in so long.
makes me think i'm not even fucking wanted, tbh.
daddy, i know you won't take the job in san francisco,
but if you do, i'm coming with you.
no one would miss me if i left.
i know it.
i'm always on my own, no one includes me,
people barely talk to me.
my guild play group only wanted me because i like poetry.
i can't even blag a couple of days off school because this week is too important.
i'm trying.
i really am.
nobody else is.

i'm so, so glad no one reads these...

sixty-eight.

you don't care.
you'll never care.

sixty-seven: long time no speak, blogger.

in one sense, i'm so happy no one comes on here anymore.
blogger is back the way i like it,
unpopular and deserted.
so i can rant.
rant rant rant rant rant :D
so, yeah...

there's something i think i need to announce to... someone/something/anything.
i discovered it recently.
and i don't like it much,
and you haven't realised, i don't think.
but it's one of those things that eats you up inside.
pretty blatantly, it's about you.
you're stupid, you're annoying,
you continue to hurt me, physically and mentally,
and you have no idea.
but i think the thing that pisses me off the most would be the way you can make me smile without even trying,
the way you start every conversation with "hello wanker!"
the way i can be my complete and total self around you,
the way you make me open up to you,
the way you pull out all the stops to make me feel better,
the way you say things that make me feel like the only person in the world that matters,
the way you don't try to be anything you're not.

you make me smile, you make me laugh, you make me happy.
and...
i love you.
there.
i said it.
merrrrrrrrrrrrr.
fml.

thank you, and goodnight, motherfxckersss. ♥

sixty-six: so, i guess this is it.

what have i done to myself?
i come back from an amazing day with my bestest friends.
dump my stuff, grab a cookie,
then managed to catch sight of myself in a mirror.

holy shittttt.

there was this girl, right, stood there, looking back at me.
is that actually me?
because i... i don't like it.
i hate it.
it's nothing to do with my facial features ect.
but... i don't know.
i tried so hard to change myself and ended up with...
that?
feeling a bit like mulan, atm.
or hercules in the first half of the movie.

i will find my way, i can go the distance,
i'll be there someday, if i can be strong,
i know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while,
i would go most anywhere,
to feel like i belong...
^ yeah, i'm feeling a lot like that.

who is that girl i see, staring straight, back at me?
why is my reflection someone i don't know?
^ or like that...

they're my lyrics, up there.
old disney movies = ♥
i'm watching hercules right now [:

so adios, motherfuckerrrs. ♥

sixty-five: fun with google, moans & an apology.

it feels like i haven't blogged in aaaaaaaaaages.
sorry, i think.
there's so much i could write,
but i don't, 'cause...
well, actually, i don't have a reason.
i just don't like sharing anymore /:
but apparently i have to try and "open up" more.
so chances are this is gonna be extra long.
you can stop reading now, if you want.

yeah, i'm weird, and you probably should have gathered that by now.
i am also easily amused.
so i was typing words into google.
...
P:

1) why...
- is the sky blue
- are Michael Jacksons kids white
- did the chicken cross the road
- is the sea salty
- does my eye twitch

2) stop...
- hammertime (LOL)
- smoking

3) who...
- killed archie mitchell
- is the stig
- wants to be a millionaire
- cares about scotland (?)

i'll stop with the google now.
'cause i doubt anyone's still reading.

and another thing...
what's happened to everyone?
nobody's the same anymore.
and i include myself in that.
the people i thought i'd never loose have just... upped and left.
people i thought i knew continue to surprise me,
by what they do, how they speak...
who they are.
i'm continually confused,
i find myself doing things that shock myself,
just to find some sort of thrill.
my life is so average it hurts.

i miss siobhan♥♥♥
doctor who was quite a letdown, tbh.
i never thought i'd say that. D:
i find myself hating people that i shouldn't.
i'm sick of trying to include myself,
if you wanted me there, you'd make a little bit of effort?
i hate not being able to tell anyone things.

our year us built on a bed of lies and secrets.
can no one else see that?
or is it a well known fact,
but the people that could sort it out are too ignorant to care?
i'm not gonna bait out my life anymore,
if no one else cares why should i?

having said my life is boring,
yesterday & last night was amaaaaaazing ♥
thank you chloe kingscote!

oooffff, i doubt anyone will read this,
but have some lyrics anyways.

everybody's changing - keane
"so little time, try to understand that i'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game, i try to stay awake and remember my name but everybody's changing and I don't feel the same..."

in the worlds of noel fielding-
"i have a face, you have a face, everything's gonna be alright."

♥♥♥

sixty-four: he looked out and said to me "run for your life!"

fine, i admit it...
i love doctor who.
it's amazing.
♥ ♥ ♥
even though david tennant's left.
*sob sob* )':
david tennant was actually the best.
the actual meaning of
"The Doctor"
was found in david tennant.




^ ^ ^
chameleon circuit ♥ ♥ ♥
a band whose genre is "time lord rock".
om nom nom nom :3
not only that, but a band with charlie mcdonnell & alex day.
i've actually fallen in love.
aahhhhhhhhhh!
that song's not even their best,
search "blink chameleon circuit" on youtube.
about episode 139, with the weeping angels.
best.
episode.
ever.

matt smith is good, however.
not david tennant, i admit,
but my god,
the man is fit.
and he had a good first epidode :3

my god, i'm such a nerd.

lyrics! xD

an awful lot of running - chameleon circuit
"it's completely terrifying but it's so so exciting,
he said i was brilliant and i could change the world,
so many places i've been; there's so much more to see,
we've got galaxies and planets and moons
and an awful lot of running to do..."

eubanks out, (Y)
♥