almost over.

2009.
what a year, eh?

a year full of 'hello's and a year full of 'goodbye's.
a rollercoaster year of ups and downs.

i remembered you, i fell in love with you. you hurt me bad.

i've smiled, i've cried, i've partied hard, i've got off my face, i've lived it up, i've broken down, i've met some pretty amazing people that have helped me through so much, i've lost people i thought i never would, i've sung, i've danced, i've met new people, i've missed, i've made decisions, i've made mistakes, i've had fun, i've had duvet days, i've pissed off people, i've laughed so hard i cried, i've posed, i've loved, i've hated.
hell, i've done almost everything.
i flew completly off the rails, and for that, i have you to thank.

today, i met a guy.
and thats all.

song of my day:
Today Is Gonna Be A Great Day - Bowling For Soup.
"so make every minute count, jump up, jump in and seize the day..."
(yes, it's the phineas and ferb theme.)

lovelovelove.

huh.

'allo.

i got asked to update yesterday. i was shocked that someone actually reads this. but they do, so here goes.

my life is the most uninteresting thing ever. there's no point informing you about my life, because it's shit.

'scuse my french.

since i last updated, i haven't learnt much. i learn't that people can just tip you over the edge, with something as simple as "i forgive you." forgive me for what, i wonder? looking back, all i'd ever done is give, give, give. all she did was take, take, take. she'd blame me for everything that went wrong, she'd moan at me, because she had what i didn't. and i took it all. sometimes enough is enough, right?
and now, back to my usual subject...

i had an alright day today. and in a matter of seconds you've managed to ruin it. thanks?

rawwrr. :'(

i don't have a song, finding one might make me cry.

muchlove.

you.

i remember those times when everything was perfect.
but perfection doesn't exist,
because perfect is boring.
perfect is cucumber sandwiches, corsets and small talk about the weather.

im not perfect. i'm proud of my imperfections.

so why do you still expect me to be perfect?

you don't have a hold on me, however much that hurts me, it's true. because i define perfect as the times when your hold on me was strong. now, you laugh at me when i'm getting on fine, and i'm back to where i started from. don't tell me to move on unless you've got a place for me to go, cause i can't find one.

"my heart will always beat for you, you'll just never be close enough to hear it."

come back, please.
forget that, what's the point in asking...

ahhhh. :(

song of my day:
stop crying your heart out - oasis
'be on your way, and stop crying your heart out...'

loveyou.

well, that hurt.

i may be a lot of things.
im a cow.
a massive bitch.
yeahh, i knowww.
its nothing new, is it?

but still, its not something you wanna hear, really. especially from someone that once upon a time, was everything to you. someone that once upon a time was your prince, the happily ever after you read about in story books. well, i did. i dreamed about this fairytale i'd be living when i was 10.

i have to stop reading. and watching you, to be honest.

i dont know if you think its funny to hurt me like you do, like you have? and dont think i havent noticed. i take a glance to your direction, i see you pull her closer. im surprised you dont remember, how you said forever. how you said i was all you ever wanted and more. but now, apparently, im the worst mistake you ever made. and for the record, im not trying to claw my way back into your life. i never left. you were the one who helped me, but now your the one depressing me all over again.

i hope you're happy now.
that would make one of us.

song of my day: little lion man - mumford and sons.
"i really fucked it up this time, didn't i, my dear?"

peace+love'xo